Normalized Behavior

Normalization is something we do to make the abnormal normal. Normalization may involve discounting or minimizing the behavior to make it acceptable.

In our society we have normalized the choice of poor behavior that shows up in domestic abuse and domestic violence situations as "Anger" and it isn't. Anger is a feeling and abuse or violence is a behavior, AND behavior is a choice.

We have chosen to accept abusive behavior and call it anger. It's acting out, just like little children do because they can't communicate well, or don't know how to express their feelings. Many times, the adults don't teach the children how to commmunicate their feelings, so we get kids acting out.

Many times, there is an absence of good, healthy, positive role models, especially in the case of single parent families where the mother is the primary care giver. Boys and young men being raised without a male role model. This is ok up to a point, and there comes a point in our lives where young men have to be educated and initated in to healthy masculine by other MEN, and their elders. We don't have that in our society and there are organizations that are making a global effort to intitate men in a good way, and fraternities don't count. Neither to gangs. They are not good models for healthy rites of passage.

Our young people are exposed to violence all over the place; TV, video games, movies, the street, and war, just to name a few. Continued exposure can create conditioning. Some children can't separate fantacy from reality and soon it all becomes reality; sad, violent reality to them. They get conditioned to believe that violence is the way to solve problems.

Violence doesn't solve anything, and nobody wins in a war. There may be a declared winner, however, there is always a price to pay; the lives of soldiers and the innocent. There are many parts to the solution: 1)Education and healthy role models, 2)Creating win-win situations with negotiation and fairness, 3)Honoring differences instead of being afraid of the differences, 4) Having an attitude of abundance and gratitude instead of scarcity, 5)Practicing love and forgiveness instead of hate. I am sure there are more parts, and these stick out right now.

It's time to stop the abuse and violence in our society, and in the world. I challenge each of you who read this to step up, be a Stand Up Guy, and start saying NO to abusive, violent behavior.